"There is so much contradiction in my soul.--Such deep longing for God--so deep it is painful--a suffering continual--and yet not wanted by God--repulsed--empty--no faith--no love--no zeal.--Souls hold no attraction--Heaven means nothing--to me it looks like an empty place--the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God--Pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His--so He has every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God" (169-70). - Mother Teresa.
With Pluto in Gemini in the seventhHouse, Mother Teresa's prior evolutionary intention and desire is to open up to others and listen to them as the soul has been learning lessons in relatedness. By engaging in a variety of relationships with a diversity of different types of people, Mother Teresa will gain a great deal of knowledge about different people's needs, values and their point of view. In the process, Mother Teresa will readjust her own perspective and point of view so that it is more inclusive of others and their beliefs.
Mother Teresa's most current life reflected this intention. She was raised as a Roman Catholic in Eastern Europe. As a Catholic Nun she lived amongst a mostly Hindu and Muslim population in India. Through the relationships she made in India she learned about these people and their spiritual beliefs. Rather than trying to convert them to her Roman Catholic beliefs, she came to accept theirs as equally valid.
When Mother Teresa died, her longtime friend and biographer Naveen Chawla said that he once asked her bluntly, “Do you convert?” She replied,“Of course I convert. I convert you to be a better Hindu or a better Muslim or a better Protestant. Once you’ve found God, it’s up to you to decide how to worship him” (“Mother Teresa Touched other Faiths,” Associated Press, Sept. 7, 1997).
Pluto is biquintile the South Node in Scorpio in the 11thHouse. The soul has a need and desire to break free from everything related to the past and other lifetimes which is preventing further
growth. There is a need and desire to objectify life on the mundane level and tune into the divine within oneself while simultaneously liberating oneself from whatever has become fixed, rigid and limiting. This includes emotional patterns and separating desires as well as all existing “norms.” The soul has been pulling away from the mainstream in order to avoid consensus conditioning and limitations. Relating back to the soul's core intention and desire, Mother Teresa chose to live on the fringe of society and form relationships with others who served to broaden her perspective:
“During her long life, Mother Teresa devoted herself to those living in the shadows and dark corners of life -- the poor, the dying, the abandoned, the unwanted. "
Pluto is square Mercury in Virgo in the ninth House. The soul has an intellectual need and desire to travel, explore, experience and investigate foreign countries and cultures that have different beliefs and ways of interpreting the meaning of life through its work or service to others. This ties back to its core intention and desire to form realtionships with a variety of people with diverse needs, values and points of view so the soul can be exposed to new information and ideas. This will occur through intellectual discussions and confrontations with others that will serve to broaden the soul's point of view related to its beliefs. Mother Teresa was raised in a Catholic culture and household. Her mother “took the children to morning mass most days and when not working in the house or helping others was always saying the rosary.” For Mother Teresa and her sisters, “ life was bound up in the parish of the Sacred Heart. Since the Catholics were a minority, the church was an important focal point for the Bojaxhiu family and gave them a clear sense of cultural and religious identity.” This identity is limiting however, in relation to the soul's core desires and intention. In addition, it is limiting in regard to Mother Teresa's need and desire to exchange ideas and knowledge with others through her work. “If she stayed in Skopje, what was the future for her?... She loved teaching but as a member of a double minority was she not bound to suffer discrimination in this career, with virtually no schools for the Albanian minority in Yugoslavia? “ Life in Skopje was limiting. At age seventeen, Mother Teresa decided to become a missionary in India which would help lead her to an understanding that truth is relative and there are many paths to the same God - In the biography Mother Teresa: Her People and Her Work, she is quoted by Desmond Doig as follows: “If in coming face to face with God we accept Him in our lives, then we ... become a better Hindu, a better Muslim, a better Catholic, a better whatever we are ... What God is in your mind you must accept.”
With Pluto sextile the Sun in Virgo in the eight house the evolutionary intention is to identify and develop a unique special purpose linked to a socially relevant need. In mother Teresa's most current life this manifested as serving others who were sick and dying. In 1952 she opened the first “Home for the Dying” in Calcutta. Up until her death, her life was focused on serving others by caring for "the hungry, the naked, the homeless, the crippled, the blind, the lepers, all those people who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become a burden to the society and are shunned by everyone." Through her relationships with these people, Mother Teresa learned lessons in relatedness and equality as like them, she felt abandoned by God. “... now we know that she felt close to those souls because she too knew the absence of God.”
The South Node is in Scorpio in the eleventh House. In relation to the soul's desire to open itself up to others and learn how to relate to them on an equal basis by learning about their needs, values and points of view, the soul has been trying to liberate itself from memories of past life trauma related to issues of loss and abandonment. This trauma is profound and until an inner healing takes place, the soul is limited in its ability to relate to others on an emotional level out of fear of further loss and abandonment. In her most current life Mother Teresa succumbed to this fear. “I am told God loves me – and yet the reality of darkness; coldness; emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart? “ Those words, “nothing touches my soul,” are an expression of the deep emotional pain that prevents Mother Teresa from being able to get too close to anyone – even God.
The SN is sextile Uranus Rx in Capricorn in the first House. In the past, the soul may have experienced trauma from loss of a parent or a partner. This loss, or separation, left the soul feeling depressed, defeated, and guilty. It is also possible that the soul was a leader or a person consumed with a mission in which it tried to save another, or others, and failed. This left the soul feeling guilty and alone as it failed in its reponsibility to save the others, or other. This failure led to a fear of judgement or punishment or self-judgment and self-punishment. There was a build-up of inner guilt which if accompanied by anger leads to sadism. Off the karmic axis for a moment, Mars is in Virgo which is symbolic of guilt and anger. In the soul's most current life, Mother Teresa's father died when she was nine years old which is again a very traumatic, catastrophic event. His death is said to have been a political assasination. He was poisoned and at nine years old she could do nothing but stand by and watch him suffer and die. When children lose a parent they often feel guilty as though its somehow their fault. The trauma from separation and loss continues. It is said that Mother Teresa would never talk about her childhood and asked others not to talk about it either. This is an indication that she was once again repressing her emotions in regard to this loss.
The SN is trine Neptune in Cancer in the seventh House , In the past, Mother Teresa's soul has sacrificed personal relationships, and led a celibate life, in order to focus her energies on collective causes and her own spiritual development. Spirituality has served to give her a sense of belonging. She has chosen a path of devotion and serves God by nurturing and helping others. In her most recent incarnation Mother Teresa chose to help the sick, the poor, the unwanted and the dying. Although she identifies with spiritual systems that see God as a nurturing, loving and forgiving father, rather than an angry punishing God ("Today the passion of Christ is being relived in the lives of those who suffer. Suffering is not a punishment. God does not punish.)” her soul has adopted the belief (Neptune is the third house ruler) that suffering leads to redemption. This may be due to the early imprint and childhood wound left within her having watched her father suffer and die. It has become her emotional reality and she projects it out on others.
"Without our suffering, our work would be just social work - it would not be the work of Jesus Christ, not part of the redemption...All that suffering-where would the world be without it? Innocent suffering is the same as the suffering of Jesus. He suffered for us and all the innocent suffering is joined to his in the redemption. It is co-redemption. That is helping to save the world from worse things...Like all gifts, it depends on how we receive it. And that is why we need a pure heart to see the hand of God, to feel the hand of God, to recognize the gift of God in our suffering. He allows us to share in his suffering and to make up for the sins of the world."
With the SN opposition the Moon in Taurus in the fifthHouse, the soul has had a need to express itself through a special purpose that fulfills its need to be needed. The soul has merged with, and involved itself, with groups of people who it can take care of and at the same time receive recognition for doing so. The soul flip flops between periods of isolation in which it listens to its own needs and periods of involvement with others in which it listens to, and tends to, the needs of others. The soul tends to project its own needs and values onto others.
With the SN biquintile Pluto in Gemini in the seventhHouse, the soul has desired to become a public figure who has the power to influence large groups of people. In her most recent incarnation, Mother Teresa became such a figure and through her work influenced people all over the world.
The South Node Ruler is Pluto in Gemini in the seventh House. In relation to the soul's desire to learn how to participate in relationships as an equal, and to understand her relationship to the world around her, the soul has initiated relationships with a diversity of people in order to understand her individuality in a social context. She evaluates her own identity by comparing and contrasting their ideas, opinions and points of view with her own.The nature of the information that she gathers colors her understanding of herself and the world. Her pre-existing belief system creates a filter as to what information she will absorb and what it will reject. Imbalances in these relationships have created a distortion which manifests as a need to be needed which creates co-dependency in these relationships. "Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own. You accommodate others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs. Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others)."
With Pluto square Mercury in Virgo in the ninth House, intellectual confrontations related to the soul's religious beliefs have occurred in the past as they were limiting growth. The soul was inclined to interprete any intellectual information related to metaphysical or cosmological beliefs in a way that reflected her own pre-existing beliefs. She likely rejected anything that did not somehow reflect what she already believed to be true or false as this would undermine her sense of security which is linked to her opinions and ideas, and religious point of view. Mercury is in a mutable sign, so she was open to listening to other opinions and points of view, but with the square there was likely a resistance which created a subconscious effect of not really listening to what was being said and rejecting any argument. In her most current incarnation, Mother Teresa often wrote letters to priests and other Catholics which reflect an inner spiritual crisis in which she revealed her belief that she had been abandoned by God. Her feelings parallel those of St John of the Cross in “The Dark Night of the Soul.” It is said (by psychologists) that tension between the individual and the divine occurs from witnessing pain and suffering – which she witnessed in Calcutta.
With Pluto biquintile the South Node in Scorpio in the eleventh House, the soul has desired to become a public figure who has the power to influence large groups of people. Mother Teresa has shared a common destiny with a large group of people over the course of time. In her most recent life she attained her desire to become a public figure who can make contact with many people and influence their thoughts, ideas and beliefs. In an interview after her death, her successor, Sister Prema, was asked to describe her image of Mother Teresa. She answered, “ She would probably say that her goal was always to convey the experience of Jesus to those around her. This is the legacy she left us. Through her life, her work, her charisma, she brought those around her to God. She did not preach, but she testified with her own life.”
With Pluto sextile the Sun in Virgo in the eighth house, the soul has merged with symbols of power that enable her to establish herself as a leader and public speaker capable of influencing others through her power of persuasion and suggestive powers. In her most recent life this was the Catholic Church.
PPP in Sagittarius in the First House
In order to grow and evolve, the soul must learn how to strike out on her own and find the answers to her metaphysical, philosophical and cosmological questions from within, herself using her intuition. She has to learn to initiate a self-motivated direction in life outside of her relationships in order to find a belief system that resonates with her soul on an intuitive level. In order to participate in relationships which are mutally independent and equal, she needs to develop an awareness that truth is relative and that there are many paths leading to the same truth. In doing so, she will no longer feel a need to defend her point of view and opinions as right and reject other people's as wrong. Once she learns that intellectual knowledge is limited, and learns to trust her intuition, she will be able to align her beliefs with natural law. Once this occurs her relationships with others will come into balance. In her most recent life, Mother Teresa appears to have actualized Pluto's Polarity Point as she came to realize there are many paths to God.
The NN is conjunct the Moon in Taurus in the fifthHouse. In order to use her intuition to find the answers to her metaphysical, philosophical and cosmological questions from within herself, there is an intention and desire to develop a self-centered focus relative to her personal purpose and her emotional reality. By relating to her own emotions, senses and needs she would develop an awareness of what she values and therefore has meaning for her. Such a focus would empower her to focus her energies in creative, vital and self-actualizing ways. With the Moon in Taurus in the fifthhouse, Mother Teresa has a huge ego and a powerful self-image which allows her to “to stand before the whole world convinced of her truth, convinced of her worth, and convinced of her importance.” By relating to her own senses and needs, Mother Teresa has created a sense of self-validation, value and meaning which flows over into her personal special purpose and allows her to actualize that purpose in a meaningful way.
With the NN trine Uranus Rx in Capricorn in the firstHouse, the evolutionary intent is to break free from past conditioning patterns that define her identity. She needs a great deal of freedom and independence to initiate any experience she deems necessary in order to realize her sense of special destiny and to learn about herself in the process. She needs to rebel against the pressures of her own peer group and socialize with people outside her peer group or become a “group of one”.
With the NN sextile Neptune in Cancer in the seventh House, the evolutionary intent is to form relationships, and interact with other people, in order to discover a sense of wholeness and recapture the spirit of the divine. There is a need and desire to find emotional security and identity in truth as well as a need to address her feeling of lack through association with others. Periods of withdrawl to contemplate and interaction with others must be balanced. On a spiritual level, this aspect exposes one to the deeper concepts of union and harmony. Spiritual values are integrated into the area of relationships and generate an aspiration for true equality and mutuality.
"There is only one God and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I’ve always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholics and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs—all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."
Mother Teresa was learning to see the middle way between all extremes. She was trying to find balance between active interference and passive acceptance of the way things are in the world. With Neptune in Cancer she developed a sense of belonging through spirituality and helping others. She identified with a spiritual system that adopts the idea of god being forgiving. This allows for indulgence, compassion and nurturing rather than guilt and atonement. In adopting the idea of a loving and nurturing God, the concept of unity became obvious to her and allowed her to develop a strong sense of compassion for all inspite their past. She came to accept others without judging them and understanding that nothing is wrong with life itself, for everything is part of the truth.
The North Node Ruler is Venus in Leo in the eighth House. This placement symbolizes Mother Teresa's intimate relationships and intimate partner. Her deepest emotions and deepest sense of security are linked to her intimate relationships and intimate partner. Her feelings are intense and there is a resistance to letting go no matter what the circumstances. Her love is all consuming and she is totally devoted to her partner, who is special and unique, and she expects the same in return. She has a deep desire to merge with her intimate partner whom she is deeply committed to and expects the same back. At the same time she is emotionally vulnerable which leads to inner fears of rejection and abandonment as she is driven by a profound need for recognition and feedback from her partner . Mother Teresa considered Jesus to be her intimate partner. She was totally committed to Jesus and desired to please him in every way inspite her innermost feeling that he had abandoned her.
In March 1953 she wrote to her confessor: “... there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been like this more or less from the time I started ‘the work.’” Over the years she had many confessors, and she continually referred to her spiritual condition as “my darkness” and to Jesus as “the Absent One.” At the suggestion of one confessor she wrote the following to Jesus:“I call, I cling, I want -- and there is no One to answer -- no One on Whom I can cling -- no, No One. -- Alone ... Where is my Faith --even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness ; darkness. ... When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven -- there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives ; hurt my very soul. -- I am told God loves me -- and yet the reality of darkness ; coldness ; emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.” In 1962 she wrote: “If I ever become a Saint -- I will surely be one of ‘darkness,’” and again, “How cold-how empty -- how painful is my heart. -- Holy communion -- Holy Mass -- all the holy things of spiritual life -- of the life of Christ in me -- are all so empty -- so cold -- so un-wanted. The physical situation of my poor, left in the streets unwanted, unloved, un-claimed -- are the true picture of my own spiritual life, of my love for Jesus” (Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, p. 232).
Her private statements about her faith and relationship with Christ continued in this vein until her death.
Venus Square Saturn Rx in Taurus in the 4th House. Venus square Saturn is symbolic of suffering through love. According to Mother Teresa, “Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.”Mother Teresa's emotional reality was one of lonliness and a feeling of rejection and abandonment. She had a compulsive need to be loved coupled with a feeling of being unloved. In order to feel love, one must first love themselves. Mother Teresa, however projected her emotional needs and need for love onto Jesus.
"There are so many religions and each one has its different ways of following God. I follow Christ: Jesus is my God, Jesus is my Spouse, Jesus is my Life, Jesus is my only Love, Jesus is my All in All, Jesus is my Everything."
The above piece is from an assignment I did as a student of The School of Evolutionary Astrology as
taught by Jeffrey Wolf Green - catharine j. anderson.
