"There is so much contradiction in my soul.--Such deep
longing for God--so deep it is painful--a suffering continual--and
yet not wanted by God--repulsed--empty--no faith--no love--no
zeal.--Souls hold no attraction--Heaven means nothing--to me it looks
like an empty place--the thought of it means nothing to me and yet
this torturing longing for God--Pray for me please that I keep
smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His--so He has
every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God"
(169-70). - Mother Teresa.
With Pluto in Gemini in the seventhHouse, Mother Teresa's prior
evolutionary intention and desire is to open up to others and listen
to them as the soul has been learning lessons in relatedness. By
engaging in a variety of relationships with a diversity of different
types of people, Mother Teresa will gain a great deal of knowledge
about different people's needs, values and their point of view. In
the process, Mother Teresa will readjust her own perspective and
point of view so that it is more inclusive of others and their
beliefs.
Mother Teresa's most current life reflected this intention. She
was raised as a Roman Catholic in Eastern Europe. As a Catholic Nun
she lived amongst a mostly Hindu and Muslim population in India.
Through the relationships she made in India she learned about these
people and their spiritual beliefs. Rather than trying to convert
them to her Roman Catholic beliefs, she came to accept theirs as
equally valid.
When Mother Teresa died, her longtime friend and biographer Naveen
Chawla said that he once asked her bluntly, “Do you convert?” She
replied,“Of course I convert. I convert you to be a better Hindu or
a better Muslim or a better Protestant. Once you’ve found God, it’s
up to you to decide how to worship him” (“Mother Teresa Touched
other Faiths,” Associated Press, Sept. 7, 1997).
Pluto is biquintile the South Node in Scorpio in the 11thHouse.
The soul has a need and desire to break free from everything related
to the past and other lifetimes which is preventing further
growth. There is a need and desire to objectify life on the
mundane level and tune into the divine within oneself while
simultaneously liberating oneself from whatever has become fixed,
rigid and limiting. This includes emotional patterns and separating
desires as well as all existing “norms.” The soul has been
pulling away from the mainstream in order to avoid consensus
conditioning and limitations. Relating back to the soul's core
intention and desire, Mother Teresa chose to live on the fringe of
society and form relationships with others who served to broaden her
perspective:
“During her long life, Mother Teresa devoted herself to
those living in the shadows and dark corners of life -- the poor, the
dying, the abandoned, the unwanted. "
Pluto is square Mercury in Virgo in the ninth House. The soul
has an intellectual need and desire to travel, explore, experience
and investigate foreign countries and cultures that have different
beliefs and ways of interpreting the meaning of life through its work
or service to others. This ties back to its core intention and desire
to form realtionships with a variety of people with diverse needs,
values and points of view so the soul can be exposed to new
information and ideas. This will occur through intellectual
discussions and confrontations with others that will serve to broaden
the soul's point of view related to its beliefs. Mother Teresa was
raised in a Catholic culture and household. Her mother “took the
children to morning mass most days and when not working in the house
or helping others was always saying the rosary.” For Mother Teresa
and her sisters, “ life was bound up in the parish of the Sacred
Heart. Since the Catholics were a minority, the church was an
important focal point for the Bojaxhiu family and gave them a clear
sense of cultural and religious identity.” This identity is
limiting however, in relation to the soul's core desires and
intention. In addition, it is limiting in regard to Mother Teresa's
need and desire to exchange ideas and knowledge with others through
her work. “If she stayed in Skopje, what was the future for her?...
She loved teaching but as a member of a double minority was she not
bound to suffer discrimination in this career, with virtually no
schools for the Albanian minority in Yugoslavia? “ Life in Skopje
was limiting. At age seventeen, Mother Teresa decided to become a
missionary in India which would help lead her to an understanding
that truth is relative and there are many paths to the same God - In
the biography Mother Teresa: Her People and Her Work, she is quoted
by Desmond Doig as follows: “If in coming face to face with God we
accept Him in our lives, then we ... become a better Hindu, a better
Muslim, a better Catholic, a better whatever we are ... What God is
in your mind you must accept.”
With Pluto sextile the Sun in Virgo in the eight house the
evolutionary intention is to identify and develop a unique special
purpose linked to a socially relevant need. In mother Teresa's most
current life this manifested as serving others who were sick and
dying. In 1952 she opened the first “Home for the Dying” in
Calcutta. Up until her death, her life was focused on serving others
by caring for "the hungry, the naked, the homeless, the
crippled, the blind, the lepers, all those people who feel unwanted,
unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become a
burden to the society and are shunned by everyone." Through her
relationships with these people, Mother Teresa learned lessons in
relatedness and equality as like them, she felt abandoned by God.
“... now we know that she felt close to those souls because she too
knew the absence of God.”
The South Node is in Scorpio in the eleventh House. In relation to
the soul's desire to open itself up to others and learn how to relate
to them on an equal basis by learning about their needs, values and
points of view, the soul has been trying to liberate itself from
memories of past life trauma related to issues of loss and
abandonment. This trauma is profound and until an inner healing takes
place, the soul is limited in its ability to relate to others on an
emotional level out of fear of further loss and abandonment. In her
most current life Mother Teresa succumbed to this fear. “I am told
God loves me – and yet the reality of darkness; coldness; emptiness
is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in
surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart? “ Those
words, “nothing touches my soul,” are an expression of the deep
emotional pain that prevents Mother Teresa from being able to get too
close to anyone – even God.
The SN is sextile Uranus Rx in Capricorn in the first House. In
the past, the soul may have experienced trauma from loss of a parent
or a partner. This loss, or separation, left the soul feeling
depressed, defeated, and guilty. It is also possible that the soul
was a leader or a person consumed with a mission in which it tried to
save another, or others, and failed. This left the soul feeling
guilty and alone as it failed in its reponsibility to save the
others, or other. This failure led to a fear of judgement or
punishment or self-judgment and self-punishment. There was a build-up
of inner guilt which if accompanied by anger leads to sadism. Off the
karmic axis for a moment, Mars is in Virgo which is symbolic of guilt
and anger. In the soul's most current life, Mother Teresa's father
died when she was nine years old which is again a very traumatic,
catastrophic event. His death is said to have been a political
assasination. He was poisoned and at nine years old she could do
nothing but stand by and watch him suffer and die. When children lose
a parent they often feel guilty as though its somehow their fault.
The trauma from separation and loss continues. It is said that Mother
Teresa would never talk about her childhood and asked others not to
talk about it either. This is an indication that she was once again
repressing her emotions in regard to this loss.
The SN is trine Neptune in Cancer in the seventh House , In the
past, Mother Teresa's soul has sacrificed personal relationships, and
led a celibate life, in order to focus her energies on collective
causes and her own spiritual development. Spirituality has served to
give her a sense of belonging. She has chosen a path of devotion and
serves God by nurturing and helping others. In her most recent
incarnation Mother Teresa chose to help the sick, the poor, the
unwanted and the dying. Although she identifies with spiritual
systems that see God as a nurturing, loving and forgiving father,
rather than an angry punishing God ("Today the passion of Christ
is being relived in the lives of those who suffer. Suffering is not a
punishment. God does not punish.)” her soul has adopted the belief
(Neptune is the third house ruler) that suffering leads to
redemption. This may be due to the early imprint and childhood wound
left within her having watched her father suffer and die. It has
become her emotional reality and she projects it out on others.
"Without our suffering, our work would be just social work -
it would not be the work of Jesus Christ, not part of the
redemption...All that suffering-where would the world be without it?
Innocent suffering is the same as the suffering of Jesus. He suffered
for us and all the innocent suffering is joined to his in the
redemption. It is co-redemption. That is helping to save the world
from worse things...Like all gifts, it depends on how we receive it.
And that is why we need a pure heart to see the hand of God, to feel
the hand of God, to recognize the gift of God in our suffering. He
allows us to share in his suffering and to make up for the sins of
the world."
With the SN opposition the Moon in Taurus in the fifthHouse, the
soul has had a need to express itself through a special purpose that
fulfills its need to be needed. The soul has merged with, and
involved itself, with groups of people who it can take care of and at
the same time receive recognition for doing so. The soul flip flops
between periods of isolation in which it listens to its own needs and
periods of involvement with others in which it listens to, and tends
to, the needs of others. The soul tends to project its own needs and
values onto others.
With the SN biquintile Pluto in Gemini in the seventhHouse, the
soul has desired to become a public figure who has the power to
influence large groups of people. In her most recent incarnation,
Mother Teresa became such a figure and through her work influenced
people all over the world.
The South Node Ruler is Pluto in Gemini in the seventh House. In
relation to the soul's desire to learn how to participate in
relationships as an equal, and to understand her relationship to the
world around her, the soul has initiated relationships with a
diversity of people in order to understand her individuality in a
social context. She evaluates her own identity by comparing and
contrasting their ideas, opinions and points of view with her own.The
nature of the information that she gathers colors her understanding
of herself and the world. Her pre-existing belief system creates a
filter as to what information she will absorb and what it will
reject. Imbalances in these relationships have created a distortion
which manifests as a need to be needed which creates co-dependency in
these relationships. "Co-dependency can be defined as the
tendency to put others needs before your own. You accommodate others
to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own
feelings, desires and basic needs. Your self-esteem depends largely
on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for
someone else (or many others)."
With Pluto square Mercury in Virgo in the ninth House,
intellectual confrontations related to the soul's religious beliefs
have occurred in the past as they were limiting growth. The soul was
inclined to interprete any intellectual information related to
metaphysical or cosmological beliefs in a way that reflected her own
pre-existing beliefs. She likely rejected anything that did not
somehow reflect what she already believed to be true or false as this
would undermine her sense of security which is linked to her opinions
and ideas, and religious point of view. Mercury is in a mutable sign,
so she was open to listening to other opinions and points of view,
but with the square there was likely a resistance which created a
subconscious effect of not really listening to what was being said
and rejecting any argument. In her most current incarnation, Mother
Teresa often wrote letters to priests and other Catholics which
reflect an inner spiritual crisis in which she revealed her belief
that she had been abandoned by God. Her feelings parallel those of St
John of the Cross in “The Dark Night of the Soul.” It is said (by
psychologists) that tension between the individual and the divine
occurs from witnessing pain and suffering – which she witnessed in
Calcutta.
With Pluto biquintile the South Node in Scorpio in the eleventh
House, the soul has desired to become a public figure who has the
power to influence large groups of people. Mother Teresa has shared a
common destiny with a large group of people over the course of time.
In her most recent life she attained her desire to become a public
figure who can make contact with many people and influence their
thoughts, ideas and beliefs. In an interview after her death, her
successor, Sister Prema, was asked to describe her image of Mother
Teresa. She answered, “ She would probably say that her goal was
always to convey the experience of Jesus to those around her. This is
the legacy she left us. Through her life, her work, her charisma, she
brought those around her to God. She did not preach, but she
testified with her own life.”
With Pluto sextile the Sun in Virgo in the eighth house, the soul
has merged with symbols of power that enable her to establish herself
as a leader and public speaker capable of influencing others through
her power of persuasion and suggestive powers. In her most recent
life this was the Catholic Church.
PPP in Sagittarius in the First House
In order to grow and evolve, the soul must learn how to strike
out on her own and find the answers to her metaphysical,
philosophical and cosmological questions from within, herself using
her intuition. She has to learn to initiate a self-motivated
direction in life outside of her relationships in order to find a
belief system that resonates with her soul on an intuitive level. In
order to participate in relationships which are mutally independent
and equal, she needs to develop an awareness that truth is relative
and that there are many paths leading to the same truth. In doing so,
she will no longer feel a need to defend her point of view and
opinions as right and reject other people's as wrong. Once she learns
that intellectual knowledge is limited, and learns to trust her
intuition, she will be able to align her beliefs with natural law.
Once this occurs her relationships with others will come into
balance. In her most recent life, Mother Teresa appears to have
actualized Pluto's Polarity Point as she came to realize there are
many paths to God.
The NN is conjunct the Moon in Taurus in the fifthHouse. In order
to use her intuition to find the answers to her metaphysical,
philosophical and cosmological questions from within herself, there
is an intention and desire to develop a self-centered focus relative
to her personal purpose and her emotional reality. By relating to her
own emotions, senses and needs she would develop an awareness of what
she values and therefore has meaning for her. Such a focus would
empower her to focus her energies in creative, vital and
self-actualizing ways. With the Moon in Taurus in the fifthhouse,
Mother Teresa has a huge ego and a powerful self-image which allows
her to “to stand before the whole world convinced of her truth,
convinced of her worth, and convinced of her importance.” By
relating to her own senses and needs, Mother Teresa has created a
sense of self-validation, value and meaning which flows over into her
personal special purpose and allows her to actualize that purpose in
a meaningful way.
With the NN trine Uranus Rx in Capricorn in the firstHouse, the
evolutionary intent is to break free from past conditioning patterns
that define her identity. She needs a great deal of freedom and
independence to initiate any experience she deems necessary in order
to realize her sense of special destiny and to learn about herself in
the process. She needs to rebel against the pressures of her own peer
group and socialize with people outside her peer group or become a
“group of one”.
With the NN sextile Neptune in Cancer in the seventh House,
the evolutionary intent is to form relationships, and interact with
other people, in order to discover a sense of wholeness and recapture
the spirit of the divine. There is a need and desire to find
emotional security and identity in truth as well as a need to address
her feeling of lack through association with others. Periods of
withdrawl to contemplate and interaction with others must be
balanced. On a spiritual level, this aspect exposes one to the deeper
concepts of union and harmony. Spiritual values are integrated into
the area of relationships and generate an aspiration for true
equality and mutuality.
"There is only one God and He is God to all; therefore it is
important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I’ve always
said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a
better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our
work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30
families are Catholics and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims,
Sikhs—all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."
Mother Teresa was learning to see the middle way between all
extremes. She was trying to find balance between active interference
and passive acceptance of the way things are in the world. With
Neptune in Cancer she developed a sense of belonging through
spirituality and helping others. She identified with a spiritual
system that adopts the idea of god being forgiving. This allows for
indulgence, compassion and nurturing rather than guilt and atonement.
In adopting the idea of a loving and nurturing God, the concept of
unity became obvious to her and allowed her to develop a strong sense
of compassion for all inspite their past. She came to accept others
without judging them and understanding that nothing is wrong with
life itself, for everything is part of the truth.
The North Node Ruler is Venus in Leo in the eighth House. This
placement symbolizes Mother Teresa's intimate relationships and
intimate partner. Her deepest emotions and deepest sense of security
are linked to her intimate relationships and intimate partner. Her
feelings are intense and there is a resistance to letting go no
matter what the circumstances. Her love is all consuming and she is
totally devoted to her partner, who is special and unique, and she
expects the same in return. She has a deep desire to merge with her
intimate partner whom she is deeply committed to and expects the same
back. At the same time she is emotionally vulnerable which leads to
inner fears of rejection and abandonment as she is driven by a
profound need for recognition and feedback from her partner . Mother
Teresa considered Jesus to be her intimate partner. She was totally
committed to Jesus and desired to please him in every way inspite her
innermost feeling that he had abandoned her.
In March 1953 she wrote to her confessor: “... there is such
terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been
like this more or less from the time I started ‘the work.’”
Over the years she had many confessors, and she continually referred
to her spiritual condition as “my darkness” and to Jesus as “the
Absent One.” At the suggestion of one confessor she wrote the
following to Jesus:“I call, I cling, I want -- and there is no One
to answer -- no One on Whom I can cling -- no, No One. -- Alone ...
Where is my Faith --even deep down right in there is nothing, but
emptiness ; darkness. ... When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven
-- there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return
like sharp knives ; hurt my very soul. -- I am told God loves me --
and yet the reality of darkness ; coldness ; emptiness is so great
that nothing touches my soul.” In 1962 she wrote: “If I ever
become a Saint -- I will surely be one of ‘darkness,’” and
again, “How cold-how empty -- how painful is my heart. -- Holy
communion -- Holy Mass -- all the holy things of spiritual life -- of
the life of Christ in me -- are all so empty -- so cold -- so
un-wanted. The physical situation of my poor, left in the streets
unwanted, unloved, un-claimed -- are the true picture of my own
spiritual life, of my love for Jesus” (Mother Teresa: Come Be My
Light, p. 232).
Her private statements about her faith and relationship with
Christ continued in this vein until her death.
Venus Square Saturn Rx in Taurus in the 4th House. Venus
square Saturn is symbolic of suffering through love. According to
Mother Teresa, “Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must
empty us of self.”Mother Teresa's emotional reality was one of
lonliness and a feeling of rejection and abandonment. She had a
compulsive need to be loved coupled with a feeling of being unloved.
In order to feel love, one must first love themselves. Mother Teresa,
however projected her emotional needs and need for love onto Jesus.
"There are so many religions and each one has its different
ways of following God. I follow Christ: Jesus is my God, Jesus is my
Spouse, Jesus is my Life, Jesus is my only Love, Jesus is my All in
All, Jesus is my Everything."
__________________________________________________________________________
The above piece is from an assignment I did as a student of
The School of Evolutionary Astrology as
taught by Jeffrey Wolf Green - catharine j. anderson.
